Things I Have Learned

I’d like the think that I’ve learned a few things in my life.

Dress well.

Just because you have the option to wear a skin tight dress, or one that covers almost nothing doesn’t mean that you should.  Not only is it more likely to cause a “wardrobe malfunction,” but it won’t get you any respect.  If you want a man to give you the time of day, for more than just your physical assets, you need to respect yourself enough to  leave a little up to the imagination.

For example, this little number I wore on stage with Jack Ingram in ’08 is super cute, but very revealing and not at all appropriate for anything else. Ever.

Now, I’d like to think that my clothes are a little classier, at least most of the time.

As the famous American costume designer Edith Head once said, “Your dress should be tight enough to show you’re a woman and loose enough to show you’re a lady.”

Read.

Reading is so important in life – and not just for children.  Reading is both a chance to learn and a chance to escape.  Yes, we can always learn something when we read, even when we read fiction.  And you’ll be surprised at how much you learn about yourself when you read.  Those stories and ideas stay with you, and make you into a better person.  Cicero wrote that, “A room without books, is like a body without a soul.”  And I do believe that.  There are books everywhere in my house.  Books of all kinds. And I do read those books, many of them so much that I’ve had to replace them.

Of course anyone who truly loves books buys more of them than he or she can hope to read in one fleeting lifetime. A good book, resting unopened in its slot on a shelf, full of majestic potentiality, is the most comforting sort of intellectual wallpaper.” –David Quammen

Be yourself.

Darren Criss of Glee fame once said that, “There is nothing more badass than being who you are.”  And, I’m pretty sure that he is right.  Not once in my life have I ever been happy trying to play a part. I’ve spent most of my life curled up with books, or being involved in artistic endeavors. Perhaps, I’ve always been destined to grow up pale and interesting.

In the book Alice in Wonderland, the Mad Hatter asked Alice, “Have I gone mad?” and Alice responded, “I’m afraid so. You’re entirely bonkers. But, I’ll tell you a secret. All the best people are.”  So, whether you’re the pale and interesting type, or the kind of person that loves to go to parties on the weekend, or play sports, it’s important to surround yourself with people who respect you for who you really are.

Do what you love.

The work that you do while you procrastinate should be the work you do for the rest of your life.  I got lucky. As a web designer, I’m doing what I love.  I spend all day on the computer playing around with designs, and staying up to date on the latest trends in social media, but not everyone is so lucky.

My husband is a good example. No matter what else he is doing with him time, I know his passion is farming – and I truly hope he gets the chance to live his dreams.

Life isn’t supposed to be easy.

Robert Heinlen, a famous science-fiction writer in the 40s, once said, “Don’t handicap you’re children by making their lives easy.”  And he was right.  I don’t think that my life was easy as a child, but it also wasn’t terribly hard.  And when I got married and moved out on my own, there were so many things that I had to learn how to handle on my own.  I don’t know how many times I’ve called my mother, just to ask simple questions like, “How do I cook a meat loaf?” or “What do I use to get out this stain?”  Of course, even those aren’t hard questions.  The major challenges in life really must be faced on your own.  The things like, budgets and problems at work, not to mention those little squabbles between my husband and I.  Those are things that we really must work out on our own.  They help us grow, and become better people.  The journey through life is important and if it weren’t for the difficulties we wouldn’t have our own story to tell.

What story do you have to tell?  What is the most important thing you have ever learned?